Tomorrow morning my foster dad goes in for some pretty major surgery on his foot. A few months ago he tore a tendon in his ankle and the doctors found that because of an issue with his foot, if they just repaired the tendon it would be very likely to tear again. So tomorrow he's having his foot reconstructed, or reshaped, or something like that. I forget the official name but it's a big deal and there's lots of things that could go wrong. It's already going to be hard on him because it will be a long recovery and he's a very active guy, but there's a potential for more work needing to be done. So if you could please keep him in your thoughts I would really appreciate it.
I am so so grateful for having my foster dad in my life. He's kind of the unsung hero of my whole foster experience. My foster mom did all the immediate "work," but my dad was and is truly a hero. He showed incredible patience when I was living there and going through my intense dad-phobia. He was always kind but never pushed me to accept him or be comfortable around him before I was ready. Looking back I can't imagine how hard that must've been on him to have a daughter in the house who refused to have anything to do with him or any closeness to him. But he never got upset with me about it.
When I had my big breakdown last spring and had to call my foster mom to rescue me...I was so flipped out by scary new memories that I couldn't be in the same room as him w/out a panic attack. But he never complained about letting me stay. He also didn't let it bother him, at least not outwardly, when I told him I couldn't face celebrating fathers day with him. He was happy with lunch, not connected to any holiday, later. He just has an amazing amount of patience and just seems to so understand what I need.
He also was the first to show me what a real dad looks like. I will never, ever forget the morning I watched him taking care of my baby sister. She was so so tiny and I knew he was frustrated and exhausted from her screaming. I watched in terror from the doorway...thinking of all of my experiences with what dads do to their little girls and so scared of what I was sure I was about to see. Instead this big man takes this teeny tiny little baby in his arms so gently, rocks her, feeds her a bottle and she quietly settled down. It was just an every day life kind of moment but it meant the world to me and it still brings me to tears to think of it. My dad and I have a pretty good relationship now. I don't think I'll ever be able to really see him as "dad" (though the foster title has been removed long ago...my foster parents are my parents in every sense of the word) as my ability to ever be comfortable around a father figure has likely been ruined for eternity. But he reminds me daily that there are good men, good parents, good dads out there. I know he is doing a great job with my little brothers and sisters (not bio related...) and giving them such a much better life than I could've hoped for as a kid. I also know he'd do anything he could to help me.
So yeah...I want to return the favor tomorrow...even if it's just through thoughts and prayers.
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