It slipped

So yesterday evening I was walking out of the grocery store, having just bought my lunch makings for the week. Previously I had been at a friend's house helping her give her st. bernard a bath. (An interesting experience to say the least!) As a thank you, she'd then taken me out to dinner at a place with one of the most unbelievable burgers I'd ever eaten. It had all been very good. A whole evening of good. This is the same friend who had helped me the day before to get over my fear of thrift stores (worried about finding something from bio's house) and buy the perfect dresser for my new room. Even though she didn't quite get it, she'd been amazingly patient and helped me through it. More good.

As I walked away from the store I thought about how my room was filled with unpacking and organizing tasks to keep me busy; and about how right outside my bedroom window was the veggie garden just waiting for me to dig in it and plant more. I was thinking about how soon I will be able to finalize everything for school and finally start my correspondence courses (it's been sooooooo slow but that's another story). These things are all so good for me. Time at home with nothing to do is a source of a lot of misery for me. Distraction is good, but it's a matter of finding restful distractions (rather than something that will exhaust me further). Few things can keep my mind active but allow me to rest. Setting up my room, gardening, and yes even schoolwork (w/out the stress of deadlines) are some of those things. This is the life that I was aiming for when I moved here and was so picky about my housing needs. It took me a month to find it, but I did.

As I walked away from the store, something slipped which surprised even me. I looked out at the beautiful setting sun and I let out a happy sigh. I smiled. "I love my life." No, I'm not making that up. In that moment, there was peace.

There's probably a lot that can be said about my jumping back and forth between hating life and loving it and being unable to find a happy medium, but for now I'm going to revel in that moment of peace, when all was well.

(You all were expecting this to go a different direction, weren't you? :-P)

Things are still pretty good today. I slept well in my room last night and was triggered a bit at first but was able to talk myself through it and calm down. I didn't sleep all that well, but that was mainly because I accidentally put my fan on the wrong setting which resulted in my room being VERY hot. Lesson learned!

Work is going well too. The stresses of last week have been removed. For the first time I didn't feel absolutely exhausted afterwards, and was able to come home and actually be functional.

Life is good. :)