The big move

So I've been in transition since about mid May. Not good for somebody who really likes routine.

I packed up and left my winter house around 5/20 to come to where I am now for a week of job training. I had found a great house and roommate and had planned to move in in the few days before work started. Of course I didn't expect the call right before I left from new roommate saying that her landlord had decided to sell the house and she was moving in to an apartment. Ack!

Thankfully I was prepared and had two back-ups. Back-up #1, the guy had been smoking inside for months. It smelled AWFUL and made me sick being in there. He said he'd move it back to outside, but I was afraid the smell would never leave. Back-up #2 seemed great. I told the guy there that I liked it a lot but wanted a night to think about it bc I didn't want to make a decision while tired from travel. He said no problem but then called me the next morning to say that he'd found someone else he thought was a better fit. Doh! I found other options but they all had issues of some sort.

Ended up getting kicked out of the hotel I was staying in bc I didn't ask for additional nights early enough..was about out of money anyway...ended up living in my car...had a breakdown...ended up w/foster family. Stayed there for a bit but still felt in transition...never really moved in at all. Decided I needed to move somewhere more permanent and close to work. Found my current place which I really do like and it totally seemed meant to be...EXCEPT that the good room in that house wasn't open yet. I needed to move in soon bc I couldn't handle driving over an hour each way for work from my parents' house, so I moved in to the little room w/the small windows in the new, meant-to-be house.

Last week the roommate in the good room moved out (yay!). But then we needed to paint the room (it had been needed for a while but made sense to do when there was nothing in there. Then I had to wait for the paint to dry and stop smelling yucky. In the meantime I'd moved back out of my room bc it was right next to some plumbing issues and I was worried it was going to get wet in there (and it was starting to smell like plumbing backup...eeeeewwww!). So i was living in the living room...which was actually a choice beyond all the plumbing and paint and everything else because with all the crap i've been going through being on the couch instead of in my room in bed was the only way I could sleep. Being in a bed, in a bedroom was just too triggering for me with all the stuff in my head.

Soooooooooo...the point to all of this is, I FINALLY have a room! My own room that I'm moving in to. Yaaaaaaaaaay!! I actually could've moved in yesterday (or even the day before), but I've been putting off moving the bed out of the other room bc I wasn't sure if I was ready to commit to being in there and giving up my excuse to be on the couch (don't tell my roommate!). I finally made the committment to do it today though, and we moved the bed this morning. I went out shopping w/a friend and bought a new dresser, and will soon be getting my bookshelf out of storage. Most of my stuff is moved in there now, and just waiting to be organized. I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm excited to have my own space again that I can move into and set up how I want. I'm a little worried about sleeping in there, but I've been spending lots of time in there today while it's light out so I can get used to it before it's dark. Usually this isn't such a big deal to me, but it's in the midst of all the new memories coming back this time. (I have had times of needing to sleep on the couch in the past though...when I was younger I used to sleep under the bed!) Anyway, I mostly have a good feeling about it now, though I feel like I need a ceremony or something to dub it a safe, "bad people free" room. Still working on that. So far it's consisted of sort of sitting in it and "memorizing" it and remembering that it's mine and very very far from the old house. Here's hoping!