The dr. thing didn't go well. I went to a walk-in clinic and the guy was a total ass. I told him what was going on with my legs and he said "well I'm not sure what you want me to do about it." Ummmm maybe tell me what I should do about it? If I need to worry? Maybe show a little compassion?
Maybe to him it's "just a cramp." I've never seen or heard of a cramp being so bad I can't walk for hours...so bad that it brings me to tears (I have a high pain tolerance...it takes a lot to do that...), or a cramp that still hurts more than a week out. In fact, when I talked to my softball team on wednesday, they were all shocked that I hadn't gone to the dr. after seeing the amount of pain I had been in the game before. (Softball is where it had originally happened...running to first and suddenly my legs cramped and gave out. Everyone on both teams was pretty freaked out about it).
This dr. asks, "You drink a lot of water?" How's that for generic?
I answer, "Um, yes?" I probably don't drink enough for the amount of time I'm out in the heat....I can't seem to stay hydrated...I know that's part of the problem.
He asks, "You sweat a lot?" Love these "a lot" questions...isn't the idea of these kind of things to get specific info?
"Um...yes." (Don't we all when it's 90+ degrees out?)
"Maybe you should drink some gatorade."
That was the extent of his diagnosis. I told him I can't stand drinking gatorade because I can't deal with the sugary syrupy-ness when I'm out in the heat. I've always been of the belief that sugary drinks when you're outside sweating and working hard is a bad thing. I ran out of water at a soccer game a while back and only had gatorade to drink...while it was better than nothing, I still felt sick in a matter of minutes. But any of this that I said to the dr. he completely blew off. I know there's stuff out there that can help with this but isn't so sugary. I'm looking in to that, just shocked at how unhelpful the dr. was.
I had hoped that I could ask this dr. about anxiety meds, and have him help me get set up with a primary. I guess I got lucky where I lived before...I found my primary that I loved through a place that did walk-ins and regular appointments. Everything was same or next day scheduling, so I didn't have to deal with an appt. looming over my head for a long time. It looks like finding someone here is going to take a lot more work. How I wish I could make my dr. from the winter move with me!
I'm off to get a massage now. I'm hoping that will take some of the pain away. I'm also hoping this person can be more helpful than the dr. or the therapy ppl. They didn't give me much of a choice of who to see, so I couldn't ask if the person is familiar w/trauma stuff. At least I know she's female, so that will help a bit.
More later!
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Update: I spoke/worried too soon. The massage lady was AMAZING! She beat the crap outta me, but in a good way. She was able to loosen up my muscles enough that a lot of my pain went away. I feel SO much better! The place I went to does a cheaper introductory massage and then the prices go way up after the first. The good news is that this woman told me that she also does massages out of her house and stays at the intro price. So, if I could work out the timing I could keep seeing her and have it be affordable. My plan for now is to dedicate my planned therapy budget to massages and go every couple of weeks. Since I've been dealing with TONS of body memories since my new memories came about a month ago, as well as tons of stress and also doing a lot of physical stuff, I've been left with a lot of lasting physical pain. My hope is that if I can get some of the physical pain worked out, it could help my overall stress level to lessen. Not a permanent solution, but hopefully it can help me to not be at this super-stressed level all the time and be able to enjoy things more than minute by minute.
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