Babies

So the volunteering thing last night was great! It was weird to be back there after being gone so long....and a little frustrating too. Back when I used to volunteer there I was a go to person. They knew I could handle the difficult kids, so when other volunteers were struggling or there was an issue they'd come grab me. When the volunteer coordinator couldn't be there, they'd have a replacement there somewhat for show, because I would basically run it. I knew all the staff so I'd hang out afterwards and talk with them. They were great ppl and always interested in what was going on in my life and very supportive of me. When I had to leave for a while bc of a job, they gave me this super nice card signed by all of them saying how I was appreciated and they'd miss me.

Last night I was introduced as, "This is River. She's new."

Ouch.

I guess I am new, but I don't want to be new in the place that used to be so big in my life....the place where I was important and respected and valued and looked up to and all that. I know I can get that back eventually, but it's just so different.

I told the new volunteer coordinator that I would be happy to work with any age group but I really miss my baby nephew and would love a baby to hold. (I should be using this to build experience with older kids for resume stuff...but I really needed a baby fix. Not to mention I was way too tired to be good w/older kids). Back when I came before I was well known as the baby expert. The moms would tell me that they loved to see me there because they knew they were leaving their baby w/someone trustworthy and reliable. It was common to see me dancing with a baby in each arm and another couple toddling along behind me. The new coordinator first said she'd need me with the older kids, but decided to put me with the babies instead. Yay!

It was great. It was so fun to escape into baby world...even though one latched on to me and screamed in my ear if i put her down or did anything that she perceived as me not giving her my full attention. Ok maybe because of that. It was great to immerse myself in baby world, and so fun to be a little one's everything for the night.

There was another little baby there...by far the smallest. Most of them were around a year old and walking or very close to it. This little girl was 6 months old and VERY small for her age. When she started crawling around I was shocked because she looked like she was only a few months old. But she had this great little army crawl scoot...and she'd scoot over to you and give this big smile and then scoot away to someone else.

Towards the end of the night this little one got very tired. So I sat down with her and my little attachment in the rocking chair and rocked the two of them. After a little bit of setting each other off and making each other cry, they both settled in. Attachment was a little grumpy still (she was SO tired) but she managed to cuddle up a bit. The little one completely konked out in my arms. I'd forgotten just how magical it is to have a little baby fall asleep in your arms. It's that great feeling of trust and comfort to see her settle in and drift off to sleep. She even snored a little. :)

Last night was a tough night, but I thought about baby J a lot. I'm grateful to her for giving me that moment. My little attachment got picked up before baby J....so I had some time to just relax w/my little sleeper. It was a moment of letting the outside world go and just being there with this beautiful little girl.

Yeah I guess I'll probably be going back there again sometime soon. :)