That's where I am. Boy do I know how to hold a birthday party or what?! Party at the hospital! lol
I had a very traumatic ummm...entrance...here (complete w/tons of cops, restraints, and other such craziness) but it seems to be a little better now. I'm surprised and excited they actually have a computer to use. Though I can't get on facebook. Hmph.
Anyway, I know a lot of folks out there have been hoping this would happen, so yeah. I'm alive...that's a plus right? I think? Wait I shouldn't say that, I'm trying to convince them I'm ready to leave! lol
Anyway...even though I know a lot of ppl have wanted me to be here, I feel like I've let a lot of ppl down. I feel like a failure that I couldn't handle things on my own. I don't really know what's gonna happen next...but I'll try to update where possible. Hopefully I'll be home soon....wherever home is going to be. Anxious to sleep in a room by myself so maybe I can get some real rest. (Well, the ER had me in a room to myself...but the whole being attached to the bed makes sleeping difficult! lol)
Sorry I shouldn't joke...it's all just really crazy right now. Thanks for listening. Trying to think positive. Could really really use the support right now through a comment or an email or whatever else. It feels very scary and lonely here right now. :(
Well a couple of things for you. . . .
ReplyDelete1. You did not get to this point in your life on your own or by your own doing, you should not be expected to deal with it all on your own either!
2. If you can't get on facebook then you can't read my message I sent you so here it is. . .
I have nothing profound or inspiring to say and I won't bestow wishes and blessings upon a day that is so very difficult for you.
I would just like to take a moment to let you know that not because you were born on this day or the circumstances that you have been subjected to in your life, you have touched my life in a way that I am thankful for.
You have had struggles and they have been difficult and real. You have been put in situations that no person should have to endure and you have managed, no matter how small the progress may feel, to continue. What you share makes a difference, it helps us all to be better people. I know that you have helped me to be a better mother, foster parent and friend (although I still struggle with all of those myself!).
So, I tell you this today so that maybe you feel a bit of light in the dark but please know that my feelings will remain the same tomorrow and every day after.
Jennifer
3. Don't rush yourself and try to "get out of there" by faking it! Be real and use this time to try to get through it, not cover it up and pretend it does not exist.
4. The choices that other people made that hurt you were their choices, NOT yours. The shame, guilt and burden of those choices belong to them! You are more than your life circumstances.
I will keep checking your blog since I know you have access to it. If you want to email me (
don't know if you have access to that) it is mattnjenrustad@sbcglobal.net
Take care!
Hello Riverbird. You don't know me - I am pretty quiet on a foster parents board and have been following your blog. Accept help and know that you are worthy. I would get all religious here, but I will restrain! lol
ReplyDeleteTake Care,
Ann
River
ReplyDeletehere for you every step of the way. i am proud of you for getting help and i am glad you are still alive. you are one of my best friends and you DO matter.
love,
Ang
I'm saying lots and lots of prayers for you. Do what you need to do to get healthy and be safe. I have a PM for you on Fp.com when you're out. I've btdt right with you and if I can heal, so can you. Lovemy7
ReplyDelete