Honesty

It's 10am and I'm drinking, so I'm not going to attempt to make a good coherent post right now. Obviously all is not well. Instead I figured I'd post the poem I wrote last night after dealing with flashbacks for many hours. If you're bothered by graphic descriptions of abuse stop now. It's not pretty. But it's what's in my head. Unfortunately very little of what's in my head right now is even remotely pleasant.
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(Giving you space to leave now if you want)
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I’m on my back
Legs spread wide
Body tied
Hands all over me
Laughter abounds

One by one they take me
Take my heart
Take my soul
Take a piece of me

They take all good out of me
One by one
They make me pay
One by one
I die.

They all laugh while my soul bleeds
Taking all that’s left.
Taking all the good I have
One by one
I die.

They force themselves inside me
Into my sacred heart.
They turn me in to nothingness
One by one
I die.

Each one takes my spirit
Each one takes my pride
Each one takes my humanness
And leaves no dignity
One by one
My body breaks.
One by one
I die.