Monday, October 8, 2012

;ALJKFELKAJNLVKJBAELKJKJHGA;ELW!!!!!!!!!!!!

My thoughts are racing SO FREAKING FAST right now!  It's driving me crazy!  I'm still having the seepiness issues like before, but not quite as bad.  Now the issue is that I can't get my mind to SHUT UP!  Even when I'm talking it's a mile a minute.  I can't focus on anything, including on calming myself down or relaxing or anything cus my thoughts are going in a million different directions.  It's like eternal craziness and chaos in my head to the point I want to explode.  I think it's where a lot of the physical discomfort stuff is coming from too.  My head can't get comfortable and neither can my body...everything just feels off...and bad.

Hoping that I'll be able to get to sleep w/out all the panic tonight.  No matter how tired I am going to bed is causing mega panic...just like old times.  Sooooo much of this is just like old times.  Guess it shows the meds are working.  I see my dr. early tomorrow morning.  Not sure what to expect from that cus I'm not sure if there's anything he can do.  He can prescribe generics which I can't afford but he might pressure me to get them cus it's obviously not the healthiest option where I'm at right now.  He can write more scripts but I don't think he has any say on where they're accepted.  Argh.  At least it's something.  We'll see.  In the meantime it's just....HA;JHT;AKJHEG;LKEJA;LKGJE;LKAJ;GEKLJ as I said before...lol .  The good news is that I don't have to work on wednesday so I'll have some time to deal with it then.

Oh, and I learned today that my boss totally stood up for me against angry parents.  That's totally awesome because I really wasn't at fault for what I was being blamed for, but as a new instructor who knows.  Especially because I thought he might blame me in order to save his own ass.  But he didn't.  He said the parents were acting obnoxiously (which they really, really were) and that he's not worried about what it means for the company, he's glad to be rid of them.  Yay!  And I will say my class was SO much more peaceful last wednesday w/out them, so in all honesty I'm glad to know they're not coming back.  It still sucks because of course I want all my kids to like the class and be happy/excited about it, but it's still nice to know I'm not being blamed for bratty children (and parents).

I think that's what I'm thankful for....a boss who likes my work and is willing to stand up for me.  Yay.

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