So over the weekend I got to take a trip to see my little baby nephew and his parents. Now before I go further I should clarify that my little baby nephew is neither a baby nor my nephew. Well he's kind of a baby, but he's becoming much more kid-like. He turned 2 yesterday. He's not actually related to me, but his dad is my very best friend from childhood. I am especially close to this little boy because I actually moved in with them to help take care of the new baby, and was there for the first 6 months of his life. Sooooo....my friend and his wife had a business trip to a pretty fun place. They brought the little guy with them, and I hung out with him on Saturday and Sunday while they did the business stuff. Then on Monday we all did the tourist thing together.
That's the very condensed version of the trip, and I will just say, it was AWESOME! I love love love my lil nephew so much and it was great to spend some time w/him. I rather selfishly enjoyed the time with him without his parents because I got to be his number one focus (and it worked for his parents so they could get a break and focus on what they needed to do). Plus of course, it was fun to see my friend and his wife.
But the really crazy part, the part that needs sharing, is my flight out there.
I sat next to a young girl, about 23 I think she said. She was headed out to see her boyfriend who is in the military and have a crazy party weekend with him. She was nervous about the flight and also wanted to start her fun early so she ordered a ton of alcohol. She didn't want to drink alone, so she was practically begging me to drink with her. Holy temptation batman! I generally avoid places where there's alcohol, and I've only just reached the point where I can drive by liquor stores without feeling stir crazy...and all of a sudden it was right there in front of me and free. I couldn't walk away because I'm on a 2.5 hour flight and obviously can't just go grab a different seat. We'd been talking for quite a while before the alcohol came (she was a very nice girl), so I couldn't just put headphones on and ignore her or go to sleep or anything. Plus I'd already shared drinking stories w/her (a mistake in hindsight but I can't seem to help it when someone starts telling their drinking stories I start in w/mine) so I couldn't use any of the usual excuses of it makes me sick or whatever. I should've just told her flat out I don't drink. But anyway. I didn't want to get in to explanations of my issues.
Maybe I wasn't that direct because a part of me really did want the drink. I mean come on...I'm thousands of feet up in the air, on my way to spend 3 days in a state where I don't know anyone...if ever there was a time to get away with it! I told the girl that if I started drinking there's no way I'd make it to finding the right bus and getting to my hotel, which was true. "You'll have a whole hour to sober up again!" she replied. She had a point.
I managed to resist, but I spent much of the flight saying to myself, "Really god??!! Really??!!"
That was Friday night. I was relieved just to get off that plane and be done with it. But on Saturday night I was thinking about it again and this huge revelation hit me.
In the row in front of me there was a foster mom. She was telling the woman next to her all about her many foster kids she's taken in, and she had some incredible stories. Her family is one of those that takes in older kids, so she'd faced some challenging stuff. I'd been listening in to quite a bit of her story because 1.) I'm nosey, 2.) I love hearing foster care stories, good and bad, and 3.) I was wishing I was in that row and not with drunk girl. I did have a chance at the end of the flight as everyone was getting off to tell her that I was in foster care as a kid and to thank her for what she does for her kids.
So...Saturday night I was thinking about how this woman, this foster mom, is a symbol of where I've come from. She's also a symbol of where I want to go. I want to be a foster mom, and I want to be able to help kids in many different ways, but I can't do that if I'm drinking. Drunk girl next to me, I found out through the course of the flight, works as a stripper, drinks heavily every night at work, and tends to get in fights when drunk. She has two kids by a man who was too drunk to get her to the hospital for either of their births. She's a prime example of one of the many unfortunate paths I could go down if I drink. So all in that one little area I had where I've come from, and two very different options of where I could go depending on whether or not I take the drink. And suddenly I realized, how incredibly cool to see that so vividly and all at once? And, how amazing is it to look back and see that I had the skills to take a step back, take a breath, look at my options, think through the drink, etc. And I valued my life, and all of these wonderful feelings sobriety has given me enough that I wasn't about to risk it for anything. I took a step towards where I want to be, and showed that I really am committed to this. I am now so grateful for having had this flight, even though at the time I thought it was the worst it could've possibly been.
I told this whole story at a meeting last night, and multiple ppl said it gave them goosebumps. One girl I talked to afterwards had a really interesting take on it. She said how interesting it is that the drink...the temptation, was right there next to me, while the career and the long-term stuff was up in front, just out of reach. She said that really that's how life is: the fun, cheap thrill, instant gratification is always right there and looking so promising. It's a challenge to look beyond that and keep the focus on the future, which is where the real good comes from.
Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. :) I've told it, or at least parts of it, many times now which is why it's become "the crazy airplane story." lol I'm just still so wow'ed by the whole experience. The fact that an unbelievable temptation was there, that I somehow didn't give in to it, and then the amazing realization later on. It's all just so so cool, and it gives me a lot of renewed hope for the future. It also leaves me in absolute awe of how sobriety, aa, god, and everything else is working in my life. So freakin' cool.
No comments:
Post a Comment