Just need to vent

I was in the waiting area at the pharmacy today where I witnessed a frustrating scene.

A family was there with a 10 year old son and 2 year old b/g twins. I know their ages because they were having a very loud conversation with a woman at the next table over. The little girl was whining and crying a lot. The man who I'm assuming was dad but am not sure said to mom something to the effect of, "you gotta start popppin' their butts." She replied with, "Oh I do at home. Just not in public." Then she and the woman at the next table got to talking about how people are too nosey for spanking in public. Then the other woman said that she "often sees other people's kids that she'd like to grab and take in the bathroom." Suddenly it seemed like the whole room was talking about how kids need to be spanked. Dad eventually either hit the girl or just scared her...i'm not sure because I was turned the other way, but it was a loud noise and she started screaming. The 10 year old said something about it being a "good one." Before I go on I'll say I'm not 100% opposed to spanking. I'll never do it, but I do know some families can do it responsibly. But this situation was frustrating on soooooo many levels!

1. The crying 2 year old was strapped into a stroller with no one paying attention to her. If someone strapped me into a chair and made me sit there with nothing to do for 20 minutes or more I'd probably get a bit whiney too! And it's not like the parents were so busy they had to do it. The parents were just hanging out talking but apparently the child was too much of a burden to give any attention to.

2. Mom said that she spanks the kids at home so they behave at home but she can't get them to behave in public because "nosey people keep her from spanking." Gee, don't you think that might mean your discipline isn't working? That your kids aren't learning anything except how to be afraid of being hit? Maybe try not ignoring your child and teaching them something?

3. Everyone in on this conversation (it seemed to keep spreading) was talking about it like it was so funny. If you're going to spank your kids, fine, but do you really need to gloat and have all sorts of cheesy terms for it?

4. Obviously my own issue but I just couldn't handle hearing repeatedly taking a kid out to "whoop 'em" or whatever else. I did everything I could to keep myself buried in my book, and I was glad to have it for a distraction. Unfortunately they screwed up with my prescription (it had to be this day of all days there) so I ended up there for a long time in the midst of all this. By the time I left I was super triggered and super pissed off. I wish stupid shit like this didn't trigger me so bad. I tried not to let it because I know there's a big difference between a spanking and what I went through. But I just kept thinking about the things my dad would say before he beat me....the same sort of crap about teaching me a lesson or whoopin my ass. I guess it's becoming time for me to deal with some of this crap because it seems to be in my head all the time now (along with so much else), now that I have nothing to numb myself with. I wish I could just let the little stuff go, but it's all in my head and messing w/me now.

So yeah. I left in a really crappy mood. And then I had to go to walmart which always puts me in a crappy mood. Hmph. Glad to be home now. I tried to call my sponsor but she's not home. I think she's at the AA club but I'm just not up to going to a meeting. I'm getting sick (just a cold, but still sucky), so my body is uncomfortable and I'm just really not happy right now.

Sorry for the whining...just that kind of day. Still grateful to be here and sober.