Gratitude

Wow.  Apparently god had a message for me today.  I ended up watching Dr. Phil this afternoon.  I shouldn't have been...I should've been out doing laundry, but it's been a while since I've had tv and it's hot outside so I got lazy.  Anyway, the story was about a girl who had been kept locked in a closet for about 6 years until someone found her.  They would take her out long enough to abuse her and put her back in.  A lot of the abuse she went through was scarily similar to mine.  But she was so starved that at 8 years old when she was found she was the size of a 3 year old.

So here I've been, thinking about how invisible I was as a child...and how tough it was for me to have to go to school every day and pretend things were ok.  But here is this girl so much more invisible than I was.  No one even knew she was alive.  Truly, no one knew she existed.  She didn't have the chance to go to school.  She developed her vocabulary from a country radio station that was played to muffle any sounds she might make.  I loved to bury myself in books to escape the pain of my daily life.  I would hide under my bed and read and hope those around me would forget about me.  I can't imagine not having that escape.  I remember being devastated when my parents would leave the house and leave me locked in my room.  But constantly locked in a tiny closet?  Wow.

I was so blessed to go to school and learn to read.  With school lunch I was guaranteed at least one quality meal per day.  These things allowed me to be the functional human that I am today.  The pain of my invisibility is so huge, but this girl is showing me how much I had.  And here she is at 18 telling her story on national tv, and talking about wanting to help other kids.  Wow.  I'm in awe.  I'm grateful for her courage both to survive and to tell her story, and show me how much I have to be grateful for.  She really is incredible.